|Now With More Mattyberry Flavor!
||[Jan. 1st, 2004|09:18 pm]
|||||The Unseen - False Hope||]|
I know I know, I haven't posted in a while. And I'm sorry, I've just had a lot going on, which hopefully I'll remember to put into this entry.
*Gets hit by flying books and violent objects tossed by the crowd.* No seriously, I have some good excuses this time!
Let's see, first and foremost, as always, the girls. To set the mood here, let me grace you with my true identity. The lovely sodo-chan told me I should change the shirt to "Save a cow, ride a cowboy." I laughed my heart off at the one. Which is possible.
Anyways, now that you all know that I am the Cowboy Of Love [tm,] I can move on. The girl situation is getting, well I wouldn't call it out of control, but, boisterous. If that's a word. I don't know if it's the proportions that have enlargened so much, but the numbers somehow have. I guess more people find me attractive then I was seeing. Or willing to see.
I'm pretty sure Kelsey still likes me, though I don't know if that's just physical for her now, since I haven't really hinted to her about anything. Don't get me wrong I like her, and I'll let you decided on what levels, but, and this goes for everyone, if I asked her out, I'd probably fuck it up anyways. If I asked her out.
Plus her little cousin said I was cute. This year has been very young for some reason. Lisa, Vic, I don't know. I mean I never saw age as a problem, as long as they were willing, and it made sense. Like, who knows what went on at Neverland, but if the kids really liked the company of Mr. Thriller himself, *does a split,* then so be it, I guess. Really it depends on a personal level for the people involved. You'd actually have to see what was going on. If that makes any sense.
But anyways, my first relationship was when I was really young living on Country Parkyway. It was with my neighbor Amanda. I don't remember how it started, but we had quite a few kisses on her backyard's playground, and their indoor pool ma-gig. That was before fourth grade, I know that. Probably like second grade. So could it have really meant anything? Sure. Did it? I'm not sure. Heh.
Then there was Jenny Kulwicki in third or fourth grade I believe. At first she was all Tim's (Qualiana's.) One day we both realized, telling each other through our Super Secret We Thought It Was Cool Language, that she actually liked me now. So like the kids we were we laughed about it. Later on, for some reason I made a huge mistake I really didn't a consider that big.
I didn't invite Tim to one of my birthday parties. That time it was just Drew, the lost Hanson brother Jordy Jachiomawitz - who has since moved, and Brian Dibble. The following Monday Tim came to our lunch table and gave me back a birthday card I had made for him that year. Except it was ripped up. The two of us always loved drama like that.
But ever since we grew apart mega-ly. I hadn't really talked to him until freshman year at East. Now we're pretty much cool, but really don't talk about that. We shy away from it. Or forcefully push ourselves away, whichever one.
Anyways so I asked out Jenny that summer, so Tim wasn't there, I don't know how he felt about it. I remember Claire [Fornarola,] and my then mega-good friend Scott [Campbell,] urging me on to ask her. So I did, and we were together for about a year or so.
(I should probably lj-cut this, but I don't feel like it, sorry. Read on though, I promise it gets good!)
Then fifth grade there was the not-really exotic Nancy [Khalil.] I never forget names, by the way. Except for that guy over there in the corner. *Points to a man wearing a full-body pillow case and playing with one of those cubes with the colors. Rubics I believe?* Yeah I don't know what he's doing there either. I asked her out on line I think, which was the boringest and least-passionate thing I've ever done. The relationship was more friendly though, which was good on some grounds, not so good on others. She moved back to Egypt, and we broke it off. Not before sending each other secret little food samples on Mini-Economy Day. By the way, Eric [Bertini,] and I sold more than anyone in our entire grade. It was popcorn from his home machine, and I served the drinks. Pepsi from my dad, what else? ^_-.
When my mom met Mike, and my brother and I met Dave, the following summer we went to Rainbow Lake. Every year at the dances Friday and Saturday night, I'd vow to meet a girl, and of course dance with her. Somehow it always happened. I think it was the third year though when I met Brenna. She lived in Elicottville, great little place by the way to walk around, and her girlfriends worked at the restaurants and such at the Lake. We said out goodbyes Sunday afternoon, (she said she'd come to meet me for an hour down there.) So I walked down alone from the trailer and talked with her.
Then we had to keep it together for a whole year. Online. Whatever, somehow it worked. So I got to see her that following summer, and we had discussed a bunch of stuff online. When I told to her come take a walk with me towards the better-half of the dance, I knew she was expecting something different. I told her through body-language, I won't go into details, my fingers are falling off, that I really didn't want to have sex with her. I don't know if it was morals or whatever, I just wasn't feeling with her at that point.
She's an awesome girl though, I haven't talked to her in a while though. Thanks for the good times though babe, you're a great person, and we both know it. Have fun with that Ian guy. The Putt-Putt one. ^_-.
There were a few more girls up until now. I don't feel like branching off. But right now there are a bunch who like me, and I find them all physically attractive. I don't know what my standards are, high or low, but I honestly do find them all attractive in their own little ways. But the problem is I don't know, and I'm glad I can admit this, if I like them as anything more than a crush. And if I was to settle down with one of the, I know I wouldn't be able to get them out of mind. Kinda sucks, I know.
But who knows.
Deyr-druh's the only one who knows this up until now, but I was in fact planning on asking Stevie out. I won't link to her for now, because I'm not feeling it that way. I know she likes things a bit private, and sorry if I'm being assumptious here. Which probably isn't a word anyways. But I was making a romantic AMV and planned on asking her out through it at otaku.
Anyways, it's not that I peed my pants and decided not to. Like before though, I know I'd fuck it up. Even if it was Stevie, and I definitely like her more than any of those other girls could ever hope. Seeing her at Deirdre's and just hanging out was awesome. I forgot how fun she really is, but that's not what spurred me to ask her out suddenly. I just had planned on it for a while, I don't know. It's me, you all know how stupid I can be. I just never settle myself in when it comes to girls.
All the quizzes below will show this. Whether they prove it or not.
Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz
Big surprise, huh? ^____________^.
I don't know. I'm really off just typing it up, and I always have all my thoughts flood out onto the keyboard when I blog, and I can never find the right keys. Which is why I space out my blogging so much, I think.
Hm, now what were the other excuses I had?
Oh, the site. Sorry to everyone, but I can't figure out what's wrong with a few rollovers that enigmatically just don't work. Drew couldn't see why either. And you know I'm a perfectionist when it comes to crap like this, so I really wanna get this tangle untied before putting up the other sites.
Here are some updates for you though.
All of PP just had a practice a few nights ago, it went really well. We touched all of our new songs, and Jake is learning most of Get Me Out Of America, one Jay wrote the music for. Our sound is really getting more complicated, and I couldn't be happier. We don't have to be molded to our label do we? The one I'm really looking forward to playing live is Attak!. You'll all be surprised by how it goes, trust me. It'll show through the moshing too. It's definitely our most innovative song yet. Lyrics for all these should be up soon. We may or may not be doing the title track You And Whose Army? It has a cool intro, but I can't really get into the lyrics, and I've re-written them at least five times now. We'll get it though, don't worry.
And now for shows. January 26th, 2004, at Exposure U.S.A./East. It's in West Seneca on Union Road. They have a huge stage, great lighting, three ground-level video cams, and five ceiling-mounted ones. There will be merch booths and everything. The place is like Showplace, but more band and fan friendly.
The bill is as follows, Dan has yet to determine the line-up.
Unfortunately, The Code won't be off of their A-F Records tour in time to make the show, so that's why The Clockers (Oi,) and The Tosspots (Oldschool Oi,) jumped on. The draw will be huge though, so please, everyone come down. Doors are at 7 p.m., the show starts at 8. 8 dollars for a ticket to I believe.
*collapses* That was the longest blog entry ever. Great two nights though.